Rough Road

Today is a good day.  After a clinic this afternoon, I’ll know exactly what’s going on with the cancer cells in my body.  The doctors will hopefully decide a course of action to treat it.  This is a backward step from my assumption that I was almost done with the cancer.  It’s extends my time of being sick and it means I’ll have more side effects from the radiation or chemotherapy.

The entire experience has been a long road of ups and downs.  Now that my Seattle experience is close to an end, I’ll admit that I haven’t reported many of the downs.  I can also admit that they have had an impact on my overall outlook.  For several months, I’ve been waking up at the mercy of the disease and the side effects from treatment.  Predicting my physical health even one day in advance is futile.  I have to wait until the morning to know if I’ll be sick and miserable or feel almost normal.  When I’m sick, I tend not to write about it.

Even with the down days, my outlook is still strong and my prediction of total recovery is certain.  Admitting that it’s been a difficult time doesn’t change any of that.  The path to recovery has been and still is rough but the outcome matters more.  If I keep looking to the future, I will endure the road to getting there.