Deception

Cancer can kill but the treatment to prevent death is much more miserable than I anticipated.  The tradeoff of taking the treatment versus the alternative is a no brainer.  Nearly everyone would prefer a time of misery over death.  In my hurry to get back to my former life of playing and teaching music, I've learned for the hundredth time that my doctors were right.  It takes a long time to feel normal, to have enough energy to get through a day or to just be awake for more than twelve hours at a time.  They say it will take about a year after the last transplant which happened on November 6, 2015.

Since starting work full time, the toll is significant.  By the end of the teaching day, I feel like collapsing.  My extra projects are all on hold due to a lack of energy and a need for sleep.  So far, I have been able to put on a happy face and force an energized appearance but I know it's not the real me.  It's a deception aimed at my students to keep the focus on the music, on the upcoming concerts and on graduating another outstanding senior class of musicians.