Crackling

It's been too long between blogs.  For the past many months of blogging, the only times I have allowed more than three days to pass before another blog is due to sickness.  This lapse is no exception. 

My so-called optimism is real but I have to acknowledge another reality that is beyond my control.  When I started treatment at the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance a very informative doctor sat me down at a table and gave it to me straight.  She said 12% to 15% of allogeneic transplant patients don't survive the first year following the transplant.  Many others contract illnesses that alter their lives forever leading to immobilization or requiring supplemental oxygen twenty-four hours per day.  The leading cause of death is pneumonia, in part due to immune suppressant drugs and partly due to the infant nature of the donor immune system. 

I contracted a cold recently.  It sank into my lungs where I can hear a constant crackling and wheezing which are clear signs of pneumonia.  No worries though, I did go to a doctor this weekend and he was pretty certain I don't have pneumonia but it was enough of a scare to cause concern.  The most annoying part is the sound keeps me awake for all hours.  I've always had severe annoyance to certain sounds like chewing or typing.  This seems to fit in that category. 

My concern this weekend is just another of a thousand reminders that cancer and the treatment of cancer with all of it's residual side effects and potential threats on life itself is dangerous.  I still have no doubt that I'll get through my one year post-transplant without a serious illness.  But I have to concede that it's been tougher than expected.  I actually thought it would be a breeze by this point in the recovery.  The breeze will come, just later than I had hoped.